Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023): Finding God Without Religion

“I don’t care. I don’t care anymore! It’s all just so stupid. Religion. Just stop fighting!”

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023) is about a young girl approaching puberty who discovers a deeply personal, secular God, while navigating the changes and expectations of early adolescence. It’s an uplifting movie for anyone who’s ever been confused about religion, for girls trying to make sense of the world and their changing bodies, and for parents with daughters living in suburbia.

One of the most powerful scenes in the movie is when Margaret’s grandparents start bickering about whether she should be Jewish or Christian (1:24:45). Her mother Barbara enters the room, nearly keeling over in disbelief that they have cornered Margaret in this way. “Margaret is nothing!” she says. “She is no religion until she decides.”

After this, the bickering becomes shouting and Margaret escapes inside herself for a moment, processing a stark realization. She then springs up from the couch and erupts with a roaring command: “STOP IT!” This command and her following proclamation about religion causing fights is one of the most powerful scenes I’ve experienced from a young actor in a movie. Very timely, too.

In her bedroom later that night, Margaret writes:

“What I learned about religion is that it makes people fight. And every religion says the same thing: If you pray to God, he’ll listen to you, and help you, and make things better. But I’ve prayed, and prayed, and everything just gets worse. I don’t know anymore what I think. Maybe the truth is, there’s nobody up there. There’s nobody listening. There’s only just me.”

Fortunately, Margaret doesn’t really believe this. Before this sequence of events, Margaret prays to God throughout the movie without the interference of religion. The personal, secular God she naturally discovers is almost like her pen pal. God is there for her when no one else is, and talking to this invisible presence always calms her. Some spiritual folks might call this her Higher Self. A place where wisdom, love, and the knowingness that all is well all the time resides.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023) teaches us that embodying a loving spirit is far more important than choosing a religion. We see this with the non-religious Barbara who is a great mother and good person, contrasted with her devout Christian parents who disowned her when she decided to marry Margaret’s dad, a Jewish man. We also see this when Margaret chooses love over judgment after her period of despair. At the end of the movie, she befriends a girl who the rest of her class outcasts as a floosie because she “developed” earlier than the other girls and looks different.

I love this movie because it directs the existential matter of God through the innocence of a child. Through this innocence, simple truths are revealed — religion causes fights, religion can be confusing, and believing in God does not require you to choose a religion. God is quite simple, we remember. It’s about connecting to the presence of life. Margaret chooses to do this through prayer and kindness, not religion.

Fun Fact: Judy Bloom wrote this book in 1970 and waited to release rights for film production until approached about this version of the movie over 50 years later. She had seen The Edge of Seventeen (2017) by the director who wanted to create the movie and loved it. They had lunch at Bloom’s home in Key West to discuss the movie and everything clicked. Shortly after, Judy Bloom was serving as a producer on set while the film was being made. 

To connect with the spirit of Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023) and support its creators, please consider renting or buying the movie on your favorite streaming platform. Also, check out this interview with Judy Bloom on Good Morning America.